


Cell Block Tango

by msbuckybarns



Series: Cell Block Tango [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor - All Media Types
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-13
Updated: 2018-03-13
Packaged: 2019-03-30 19:03:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13957998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/msbuckybarns/pseuds/msbuckybarns
Summary: This is my twist on Chicago's Cell Block tango (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0c2bKZMxEQg). I also will write the reader point of veiw for each of the ladies.





	Cell Block Tango

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing but the idea so all right go to the rightful owner.

[Maria] Pop...  
[Jane] Six...  
[Pepper] Squish...  
[Wanda] Uh-uh...  
[Natasha] Cicero...  
[Darcey] Laufeyson...

[Narrator] And now, the six married murderesses of the New York S.H.E.I.L.D agents in their rendition of 'The Cell Block Tango'.  
[Murderesses as Narrator speaks] (Pop... Six... Squish... Uh-uh... Cicero... Laufeyson...) 

[Maria] Pop...  
[Jane] Six...  
[Pepper] Squish...  
[Wanda] Uh-uh...  
[Natasha] Cicero...  
[Darcey] Laufeyson... 

[Maria] Pop...  
[Jane] Six...  
[Pepper] Squish...  
[Wanda] Uh-uh...  
[Natasha] Cicero...  
[Darcey] Laufeyson...

[Maria] Pop...  
[Jane] Six...  
[Pepper] Squish...  
[Wanda] Uh-uh...  
[Natasha] Cicero...  
[Darcey] Laufeyson...

[Maria] Pop...  
[Jane] Six...  
[Pepper] Squish...  
[Wanda] Uh-uh...  
[Natasha] Cicero...  
[Darcey] Laufeyson...

[All Murderesses] He had it comin'! He had it comin'! He only had himself to blame! If you'd had been there, if you'd had seen it! 

[Natasha] I betcha you would have done the same! 

[Maria] Pop!  
[Jane] Six!  
[Pepper] Squish!  
[Wanda] Uh-uh!  
[Natasha] Cicero!  
[Darcey] Laufeyson! x2

[Murderesses, as Maria speaks] (He had it comin'... He had it comin'... He only had himself to blame... If you'd had been there, if you'd had seen it... I betcha you would have done the same.) x2 (He had it comin'... He had it comin'... He only had himself to blame...) 

[Maria, speaking] You know how people have these little habits that get you down? Like...Fury! Fury, he liked to chew gum--no, not chew. Pop! So, I come home this one day and I'm really irritated and looking for a little bit o' sympathy-- And There’s Fury, lying' on the couch, drinking a beer and chewing--no, not chewing, POPPING! So, I said to him, I said "You pop that gum one more time…", and he did. So, I took the shotgun off the wall and I fired two warning shots, Into his head! 

[All Murderesses] He had it comin'! He had it comin'! He only had himself to blame! If you'd had been there, if you'd had heard it! I betcha you would have done the same! 

[Murderesses, as Jane speaks] (He had it comin'... He had it comin'... He only had himself to blame... If you'd had been there, if you'd had heard it... I betcha you would have done the same.) x2 (He had it comin'... He had it comin'... He only had himself to blame...) 

[Jane, speaking] I met Thor Odinson from Puente Antiguo about two years ago, and he told me he was single, and we hit it off right away. So, we started living together. He'd go to work, he'd come home, I'd fix him a drink, n' we'd have dinner, and then I found out, single he told me? Single, my ass! Not only was he married, oh no. He had SIX wives! One of those Asgardians you know? So that night, when he came home from work, I fixed him his drink, as usual… You know, some guys just can't hold their arsenic! 

[All Murderesses] He had it comin'! (Pop! Six! Squish!) He had it comin'! (Uh-uh! Cicero! Laufeyson!) He took a flower in its prime! (Pop! Six! Squish! Uh-uh! Cicero! Laufeyson!) And then he used it, (Pop!) And he abused it! (Six!) It was a murder, but not a crime! (Squish! Uh-uh! Cicero! Laufeyson!) 

[Murderesses, as Pepper speaks] (Pop! Six! Squish! Uh-uh! Cicero! Laufeyson!) (Pop! Six! Uh-uh!) 

[Pepper, speaking] Now, I'm standing in the kitchen carving up the chicken for dinner, minding my own business, in storms my husband Tony in a jealous rage. "You been screwing your assistant!" he says. He was crazy, and he kept on screaming, "You been screwing your assistant!" And then he ran into my knife... He ran into my knife ten times...

[All murderesses] If you'd had been there, if you'd had seen it! I betcha you would have done the same! 

[Wanda, speaking] Что я здесь делаю? Говорят, что мой знаменитый житель захватил моего мужа, и я упал ему на голову. Но это неправда. Я невиновен. Я не знаю, почему дядя Сэм говорит, что я это сделал. Я пытался объяснить полиции, но они этого не понимали. (English: What am I doing here? It is said that my famous resident captured my husband, and I fell on his head. But it's not true. I am innocent. I do not know why Uncle Sam says I did it. I tried to explain to the police, but they did not understand it.)

[? speaking] Yeah, but did you do it? 

[Wanda, speaking] Uh-uh, not guilty! 

[Murderesses, as Natasha speaks] (He had it comin'... He had it comin'... He only had himself to blame... If you'd had been there, if you'd had seen it... I betcha you would have done the same.) (He had it comin'... He had it comin'... He took a flower--) 

[Natasha, speaking] My sister, Natalie and I had this double act. And my husband, Bucky, traveled around with us. With the last number in our act, we did these 20 acrobatic tricks in a row: One, two, three, four, five, splits, spread eagles, back flips, flip flops, one right after the other. So, this one night before the show, we're down at the hotel, Cicero. The three of us, boozin', having a few laughs, and we ran out of ice. So, I go out to get some. I come back, open the door, and there's Natalie and Bucky doing number seventeen, the spread eagle! Well, I was in such a state of shock, I completely blacked out, I can't remember a thing... It wasn't until later, when I washing the blood off my hands, I even knew they were dead! 

[Natasha] They had it comin'! (They had it comin'!) They had it comin'! (They had it comin'!) They had it comin' all along! (They had it comin' all along!) I didn't do it! (She didn't do it!) But if I've done it! (But if she done it!) How could you tell me that I was wrong? They had it comin'! (They had it comin'!) They had it comin'! (They had it comin'!) They had it comin' all along! (They took a flower in its' prime!) I didn't do it! (And then they used us!) But if I've done it! How could you tell me that I was wrong? 

[Murderesses, as Darcey speaks] (He had it comin'... He had it comin'... He only had himself to blame... If you'd had been there, if you'd had seen it... I betcha you would have done the same.) 

[Darcey] I loved Loki Laufeyson more than I could possibly say. He was a real artistic guy, sensitive, a painter. But he was always trying to 'find himself'. He'd go out every night looking for himself, and on the way, he found Ruth, Gladys, Rosemary and Irving. I guess you can say we broke up because of artistic differences. He saw himself as alive... And I saw him dead! 

[All murderesses] The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum! The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum! They had it comin'! (They had it comin'!) They had it comin'! (They had it comin'!) They had it comin' all along! (They had it comin' all along!) Cause if they used us! (Cause if they used us!) And they abused us! (And they abused us!) How could you tell us that we were wrong? He had it comin'! (They had it comin'!) He had it comin'! (They had it comin'!) He only had himself to blame! (He only had himself to blame!) If you'd had been there, (If you'd had been there,) If you'd had seen it! (If you'd had seen it!) I betcha you would have done the same! 

[Each murderess, speaking, overlapping] 

(Maria) You pop that gum one more time,  
(Jane) Single my ass,  
(Pepper) Ten times,  
(Wanda) Почему дядя Сэм посадил меня в тюрьму!  
(Natasha) Number seventeen, the spread eagle!  
(Darcey) Artistic differences. 

[Maria] Pop...  
[Jane] Six...  
[Pepper] Squish...  
[Wanda] Uh-uh...  
[Natasha] Cicero...  
[Darcey] Laufeyson...

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing but the idea so all right go to the rightful owner. I hope you liked this.


End file.
